TIGER, TIGER, TIGER

It's been a while since my last rant. It's good to be back.

Shocking news of the week for me; Tiger Woods is not getting a divorce???? What the heck? It's affecting his game. One whole year without a trophy. That's against the order of nature, like you don't allow Tiger to hunt.

Tiger, if your missus ain't filing for divorce, you do it. Get Johnny Cochran, he'll wrap it up in a couple of weeks, tops. Or Lawyer Kampung can do it in a month for a smaller fee. It's your obligation to your long suffering male fans. Do you have any idea how many of them are suffering because of your off field problems that are affecting your game? Millions. Golfers the world over missed seeing your athletic prowess like when you snatched a major from Davis Love III in 2001. She wants $100mil? Give it to her. She deserves it for not smashing you with your wood, no pun intended.

It was unimaginably noble of Mrs. Woods to give him another chance at 119 but I swear to god, when #120 happened to be a neighbor (and barely in her 20's), I thought that would be the prey that broke the tigress' back.

What's wrong with you Mrs. Woods? You can walk away with a cool $100mil and get out of paparazzi's lens within a month after the papers are finalized. $50mil will get you like a quarter of Iceland you know. Take this chance of a lifetime and start anew. The man banged everything with a you-know-what including porn stars with silicon valleys on their chests. He betrayed you not once, not ten times, not one hundred but 120 times!!!! You're worried about taking away too much of Tiger's money? The man has hundreds of millions. Taking 100 is kind for what he's done. With that kind of money, you can pick and choose a decent man who will be a role model for your kid(s). AND TIGER AIN'T GONNA STARVE. Don't worry.

I searched high and low in youtube for male black, I mean African American, comedians making fun of Tiger's transgressions. Four weeks and I found nothing. Zilch, nada. You know why? Because Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Martin Lawrence, etc. want to be like Tiger, or Clinton at least. Heck, most of my buddies want to be like Tiger but we all have small d**ks with even smaller bank accounts.

Walk away Mrs. Woods. Please. By doing so, you end your suffering, Tiger can prowl again on and off the field, and millions of golf enthusiasts will rejoice once more.

I don't get it. Male athletes and entertainers who have millions decide to get married in their 20's but after a few months they realized they needed more.

Don't get me wrong, I don't condone what Tiger, Magic Johnson, Clinton, etc. did if you're a married man. But from western perspective, if you have a d**k, no matter how small, with millions in your account, don't get married before 40 please. Just romp, if you know what I mean. Don't be like Beckham where you have millions and even gays would like to get a piece of your metro a** but you only get to bend it around one measly scrawny goal.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

-CD-