A NEW BEGINNING

ﺍﻟﺴﻼﻢ ﻋﻠﻴﻜﻢ ﻭﺭﺣﻤﺔﷲﻭﺑﺮﻛﺎﺗﻪ       

It's been a while since I've last posted anything here.  This, I hope, is a new beginning.  If you read my previous posts they were angry and cocky in nature.  Caustic.  A friend of mine called me caustic due to my comments, hence the name of this blog.

I am seven years older since my last post.  A little less angry I suppose.  The past few years have changed the way I carry myself.  Different outlook at life and from now on I hope my writing would benefit people.  My old style of writing was to get noticed.   I used to write to say something.  Now I'm writing when I have something to say.

إنشا الله

TIGER, TIGER, TIGER

It's been a while since my last rant. It's good to be back.

Shocking news of the week for me; Tiger Woods is not getting a divorce???? What the heck? It's affecting his game. One whole year without a trophy. That's against the order of nature, like you don't allow Tiger to hunt.

Tiger, if your missus ain't filing for divorce, you do it. Get Johnny Cochran, he'll wrap it up in a couple of weeks, tops. Or Lawyer Kampung can do it in a month for a smaller fee. It's your obligation to your long suffering male fans. Do you have any idea how many of them are suffering because of your off field problems that are affecting your game? Millions. Golfers the world over missed seeing your athletic prowess like when you snatched a major from Davis Love III in 2001. She wants $100mil? Give it to her. She deserves it for not smashing you with your wood, no pun intended.

It was unimaginably noble of Mrs. Woods to give him another chance at 119 but I swear to god, when #120 happened to be a neighbor (and barely in her 20's), I thought that would be the prey that broke the tigress' back.

What's wrong with you Mrs. Woods? You can walk away with a cool $100mil and get out of paparazzi's lens within a month after the papers are finalized. $50mil will get you like a quarter of Iceland you know. Take this chance of a lifetime and start anew. The man banged everything with a you-know-what including porn stars with silicon valleys on their chests. He betrayed you not once, not ten times, not one hundred but 120 times!!!! You're worried about taking away too much of Tiger's money? The man has hundreds of millions. Taking 100 is kind for what he's done. With that kind of money, you can pick and choose a decent man who will be a role model for your kid(s). AND TIGER AIN'T GONNA STARVE. Don't worry.

I searched high and low in youtube for male black, I mean African American, comedians making fun of Tiger's transgressions. Four weeks and I found nothing. Zilch, nada. You know why? Because Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Martin Lawrence, etc. want to be like Tiger, or Clinton at least. Heck, most of my buddies want to be like Tiger but we all have small d**ks with even smaller bank accounts.

Walk away Mrs. Woods. Please. By doing so, you end your suffering, Tiger can prowl again on and off the field, and millions of golf enthusiasts will rejoice once more.

I don't get it. Male athletes and entertainers who have millions decide to get married in their 20's but after a few months they realized they needed more.

Don't get me wrong, I don't condone what Tiger, Magic Johnson, Clinton, etc. did if you're a married man. But from western perspective, if you have a d**k, no matter how small, with millions in your account, don't get married before 40 please. Just romp, if you know what I mean. Don't be like Beckham where you have millions and even gays would like to get a piece of your metro a** but you only get to bend it around one measly scrawny goal.

It just doesn't make sense to me.

-CD-

MAY 21 NOTABLE 5 LIST

It's been almost 2 months since my last post. The things in The Star today that caught my attention.

1. New Johor administrative center located too close to Singapore's firing range. Huh...
2. Perak UMNO Youth lodged a police report against PAS Youth chief for insulting our judiciary system. Don't these people have better things to do? We have thousands of unsolved murder/kidnapping/rape/bribery cases and you think the cops will pay attention to this? Hello, our judiciary system is made up of lawyers, magistrates and lawyers. Let them worry about it. And the geniuses always have to pose for the press showing the hard copy of the report like anyone reading the newspaper can see it.
3. "The Prime Minister's wife, Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor, said both countries had spoken at length about the early childhood care and education programme specifically for children below five". Wait a minute, is she a reporter or a government official? Last I checked, she was neither. Same thing when Anwar Ibrahim was released from prison a few years back and needed to get treatment overseas. Pak Lah sent Khairy to speak to Anwar Ibrahim about the latter's passport. Khairy wasn't an official in either KDN or Jabatan Imigresen. I hate it when our leaders extend their "powers" to immediate family.
4. I heard this on tv news a couple of days ago. Mat Rempits are now called Samseng Jalanan. Stop calling them names. Catch them and feed them to the sharks instead. Oh wait, better ask UMNO Youth chief first. He might be busy with newly released ISA former detainees, you know, they might need medical attention abroad.
5. And get a load of this. Newcastle, Boro and Sunderland have actually threatened to sue MU if they rest their stars against Hull City this weekend. You can't win games yourself now you're crying to court for justice? I got news for you. MU reserves will win against you losers. Someone get Lawyer Kampung to talk some sense into these stupid millionaire club owners. Sheesh!!!!!

Have a nice day.

-CD-

DIA RASUAH, DIA RASUAH, AKU TAK RASUAH.....

It was reported in the Malaysian Insider that a fracas broke out between Mukhriz's supporters and Khairy's supporters when the result of UMNO Youth election results were announced.

All this while I've been hearing the oppositions accusing UMNO as corrupt. We have to take it with a pinch of salt since this is, after all, Malaysian politics. It's like your neighbor accuses you of such and such. Other neighbor may or may not believe the allegation. But when a brother living in the same house accuses you of such and such, outsiders are inclined to take the allegation more seriously.

On another front, why can't be more civilized and take defeat on the chin with head held high? If the victor is really corrupt, let's make a resolution that we're going to be more corrupt next time around. Or, we can go the opposite direction by being genuinely concerned about the struggle to elevate the Malay masses economically and to uphold Ketuanan Melayu, whatever that is.

Anyways, I told a dear friend at lunch that these people should watch The Godfather movie and try to follow Marlon Brando's potrayal of Don Vito Andolini Corleone. He's calm, diginified, respectful of others and he keeps his words. He's courteus even to an enemy in Virgil Sallazo and listened to his proposal seriously before respectfully declining Sallazo.

"You see, I have a sentimental weakness for my children. I spoiled them as you can see. They speak when they should listen".

But we have to shout and shout and pout when things to don't go our way. We have a voting system. Don't shout rasuah each time you lose. I've heard it from PR, I just heard it from UMNO through Msian Insider.

As a non-political layman, we Malays shout a lot and look stupid in the process. Not all, but many of us. Til my next rant.

-CD-

MY TOP 10 LIST

I thought about this for a long time but never acted on it. However, since my favorite blogger, Lawyer Kampung has been slow by his usual breakneck pace for the past two weeks, I felt the urge to fill the void. Don't expect too much from me though. I'm not as sophisticated as he.

So here it is, the debut of my Top 10 list.

1. Mohd Ali Rustam was barred by UMNO disciplinary boards from contesting for UMNO No.2 post for money politics. To a layman like me, that's buying vote, i.e. giving bribe. Shouldn't this finding put his CM position in question? Would you want to keep your CM who was found guilty of giving bribe to gain a party post he coveted?
2. I admire his supporters for standing by Mohd Ali Rustam. Really.
3. KJ was found guilty but let off with a warning. UMNO legal adviser said there was no link that showed KJ giving consent to his agents' actions and that the nexus linking him to his agent was weak although he could not be deemed altogether innocent of the offence. Cut the legal mumbo-jumbo please. If KJ's link to his agents' actions was deemed weak, there is some reasonable doubt. Shouldn't KJ be found innocent then? Alas, he was found guilty but let off with a warning. I'm confused.
4. Mohd Ali Rustam's supporters requested PM to appeal to UMNO disciplinary board. Come on guys, he's a couple of weeks from retirement. He hasn't done much for the past six years. Keep it real brothers.
5. "UMNO is firm in tackling money politics" said PM Abdullah.
6. Mohd Ali Rustam was reported in a newspaper to have accepted the board's decision with an open heart. Two pages later, he is appealing to Supreme Council. Which one is it?
7. On the same topic, the disciplinary board is independent according to Ahmad Rithauddeen but the supreme council can actually overturn. Huh?
8. This whole thing contradicts itself left, right and center.
9. Away from politics, into much ado about nothing. Yet another public outcry over name change. This time it's Klang's Little India. A Klang municipal councillor it's a "rebranding exercise". I don't know whether keeping or changing the name is the better choice but don't these clowns have better things to do like cleaning Klang up? When people have things to change without good reasons, it's usally "rebranding exercise".
10. Two cops in JB who were supposed to receive commendation letters for solving crimes were arrested for alleged extortion. I feel safe.

Have a nice weekend.

JUMP AROUND, JUMP AROUND, JUMP UP, JUMP UP, JUMP AROUND...

What is going on? First of all, this 'lompat parti' thingy left a bitter taste in my mouth. It's not about the rule of law but if you contested and won under UMNO/BN, you should have accepted UMNO/BN for what it is, for better or worse. Same goes for PR ADUNs. Sure, it's legal for you to leave your party and retain the seat you won but where's the civility (?) in that. If you joined PKR, you know what the leader is like; he missed a couple of dates last I heard. You join DAP, you know you have two pathological loudmouths in the party.

Secondly, and I'm saying this at the risk of contradicting myself. Why do 100,000 people need to gather in Ipoh to 'defend the people's power'? I'm concerned about lack of respect for the rule of law. PR leader is a former DPM. DAP whatever is a big shot lawyer. They talk about justice, upholding the law but they can't even follow a simple law on this? PR has 28 seats, BN has 28 and we have 3 independents. If the 3 clowns decided they wanted to abandon PR for better prospect, it's perfectly legal. Why do you need to gather? You picked a couple of flaky guys to represent your party you take a risk of defection. If your ADUN jumps ship what can you do? For once, show bona fide evidence that so and so got paid so much to jump ship, or if there's foul play involved. 'Lompat parti' is not so nice when people jumped off YOUR bandwagon, now is it?

Nak perhimpunan selamatkan apa lagi? 3 orang tu dah selamat menyeberang. I'm not laughing at PR's misery but the law is clear. You have the majority, you form the government. If you don't, SELAMAT MEMBANGKANG.

I wonder what Lawyer Kampung has to say about this. I'll check him out soon. Til then, have a nice weekend.

-CD-

THINGS YOU GET IN YOUR INBOX

ﺍﻟ ﺴﻼﻢ ﻋﻠﻴﻜﻢ ﻭﺭﺣﻤﺔ ﺍ ﷲﻭﺑﺮﻛﺎﺗﻪ

This is a written form of what went through my mind this morning. I shall not be liable for any idiotic action you take after reading my musing. I'm not worth suing either. Arresting me will not make this country safer. Letting me go free does not make this country any more dangerous. If you're not 18 or unable to make a sound decision on your own, please go to another website.

This came in this morning from a friend. I have no doubt about the intent; it's good and noble but please, think real hard with an open but rational mind before believing everything that comes through your Inbox.

Below is an example; do not take Panadol. Read my response below the story. I wonder if the email writer works for Permanis or 100 Plus. Can't even spell paracetamol correctly. Bah!

"TRY 100PLUS & WATER - NOT PANADOL!!! it kills
DON'T TAKE PANADOL AND PANADOL ACTI FAST AND PANADOL SOLUBLE especially if you have gastric problems FYI... One real story from a friend.... My husband was working in a hospital as an IT engineer, as the hospital is planning to set up a database of its patient. And he knows some of the doctors quite well. The doctors used to tell him that whenever they have a headache, they are not willing to take PANADOL (PARACETMOL ).

In fact,they will turn to Chinese Herbal Medicine or find other alternatives. This is because Panadol is toxic to the body, and it harms the liver. According to the doctor, Panadol will reside in the body for at least 5 years. And according to the doctor, there used to be an incident where an air stewardess consumes a lot of panadol during her menstrual as she needs to stand all the time. She's now in her early 30's, and she needs to wash her kidney (DIALYSIS) every month.

As said by the doctor that whenever we have a headache, that's because it is due to the electron/Ion imbalance in the brain. As an alternative solution to cope with this matter, they suggested that we buy 1 or 2 cans of isotonic drink ( eg.100PLUS), and mix it with drinking water according to a ratio of 1:1 or 1:2 (simply, it means one cup 100plus, one cup water.or 2 cups water).

Me and my husband have tried this on several occasions, and it seems to work well. Another method will be to submerge your feet in a basin of warm water so that it bring the blood pressure down from your throbbing head. As Panadol is a pain killer, the more Panadol you take, the lesser would be your threshold for pain (your endurance level for pain).

We all will fall ill as we aged, for woman, we would need to go through childbirth. Imagine that we had spent our entire life popping quite a substantial amount of Panadol (Pain Killer) when you need to have a surgery or operation, you will need a much more amount of general anesthetic to numb your surgical pain than the average person who seldom or rarely takes Panadol ..

If you have a very high intake of Panadol throughout your life (Migraine, Menstrual cramps) it is very likely that normal general anesthetic will have no effects on you as your body is pumped full with panadol and your body is so used to pain killer that you would need a much stronger pain killer, Morphine?? Value your life, THINK b4 you easily pop that familiar pill into your mouth again. Please send this to people you care about."

My response;

• Human body is Allah’s creation. It’s not perfect since Allah intended it that way but scientists all around agreed that our body combined with our brain, akal and emotions result in the most complex and sophisticated piece of machine mankind has ever seen. It can survive under the most extreme conditions, if our mind really believe we can do it. No robot has come close to our level of performance yet.
• Panadol/paracetamol is a painkiller – what it does is block our nerve cells in the brain from receiving signal of the pain itself. Technically the pain is still there but we don’t feel it, because the signal was blocked, hence not interpreted as pain by our brain.
• Panadol is a typical modern medicine phenomena; most modern drugs/medicines are for eliminating symptoms, not curing the cause of the illness. Panadol/paracetamol ‘eliminates’ pain, not eliminating the root cause of the pain.
• Most things we consume can be toxic/harmful, if consumed excessively or wrongly, beyond what each person’s body can tolerate. For example, oxygen from air (which consitutes about 12% of air) is necessary for us to breathe and live. However, inhaling pure oxygen will burn your lungs, literally. We can drink water (2:1 oxygen:hydrogen ratio) orally but if you breathe in enough H2O through your nose, you’ll drown.
• Each person have different tolerance/threshold level to anything we take. For example, a cup of coffe can keep some people awake all night but for me personally, no amount of of black coffee can’t keep me awake if I’m want to go to sleep. How do you explain some Indians sleeping/walking on broken glasses and barely bleed?
• Same thing with panadol. For most people, taking it in the right dosage will not be harmful or lethal. Our liver is designed to dispose of toxins, natural or otherwise, including panadol. Everyday our body is exposed to millions of germs (virus/bacteria) and some produce toxins in our body. Most of the time our defense system is able to counter it, hence the toxins from these pathogens are disposed of through the liver system.
• As for menstrual/labor or any other excruciating pains like when we break a leg, our body produces a natural painkiller called endorphin. The common name for this is MORPHINE. That’s right, the morphine some people are addicted to.
• This is not to be mistaken with Power Rangers MIGHTY MORPHIN because that “morphin” in Power Rangers is actually an American slang for “morphing”. In BM, “morphing” simply means “bertukar”, like Power Rangers always do when baddies like Zorg appear to take over earth. Those idiots in Kementerian Penerangan who banned Power Rangers Mighty Morphin a few years ago should really take SRP (now PMR) English paper again.
• Back to the subject matter; how many times have we heard a woman asking for panadol/painkiller when they deliver? My wife gave birth to 2 children (5 years apart) but never asked for it.
• I had a friend on college who passed out after taking 40 panadols in one go. Now that’s an idiot. Smart enough to get admitted into college but not smart enough to handle the “pressure” of 1st year university workload. Whew!
• Speaking of traditional medicine, I believe it works. For prevention, someone advised me long ago to wash my feet first before showering to prevent from getting headaches easily. I hardly have headache. Whether washing my feet first or the fact that I have an easy job and hardly think is the reason for rarely getting a headache is open for debate.
• Even if I do, I try my best not to take panadol/painkiller. I usually take a cold shower and massage my head (coz my wife somehow wouldn’t do it), then lie down. It works so far.
  Another thing one can do to get rid of a headache is to increase blood flow. A few ways to increase blood flow;

1. Exercise; a light one would suffice
2. Have sex, or if partner is not available, tengok cerita blue
3. or watch horror movies if it’s at night but if you’re a ‘penakut’ type like me, you won’t sleep all night and your head will be pounding like a merdeka parade drum the next day.
   

• The million ringgit question would be; how about those millions of people who’ve been taking panadol all these years? I’ve taken a few myself in my 36-year existence but I feel ok. And I’m not addicted to morphine.

Thanks for reading.

LIFE'S TOUGH, GET A HELMET.